Monday, May 2, 2011

Chapter III God's Sign

The connection that God and I have is so strong, That if you asked me a couple of days ago if that burning of food trailer was going to happen, I would have told you exactly what was about to take place and how exactly it would have taken place. God really had me on his mind because he sent someone for me to provide assistance to. I love when people need me. This young lady was desperate.
We were at the pawn shop, I had to pawn Felecia's wedding ring when my sister's friend Abigail came in to see Amy. Amy is the clerk that works in the jewlery section of the pawn shop. She's the one that gave a nice ass deal on a masonic ring I wanted. Amy is also Abigail's best friend.

Abigail rushed in and interrupted the charming conversation Amy and I were having about my wife's ring, but Amy doesn't know its my wife's. If she did, she wouldn't give me such great deals every time i come in there.
Abigail we up to something, I could tell. The entire event was staged. She was lying about being affected by the fire. I don't know what she needed it for but I know she needed money, fast. "It doesn't matter how I get it" she told her best friend. In reality, Abigail had tons of medical bills to pay off.

I think she's on crack or something. I've been in the streets for years, I know a junkie when I see one.

"Well I'll lend you the money, until you get back on your feet Abigail" Amy said, in complete compassion and awe.
"Until I get back on my feet? Amy what the hell do you mean...back on my feet? I'm in about 2,000 dollars in debt for a illness I don't even have."

I told that hoe I'd led her the money if she would strip. I sent it via text message so Amy wouldn't get the wrong idea about me, I mean I'm interested in her too but. I also sent the message descretely so my sister wouldn't be in my business. Andrea is a hater. Lately she's been trying to handle me like I'm her son or something. I'm a grown ass man. You can not handle me as if I belong to you.

Abigail replied to the She said something about being subjected, womanism, ass-hole, ill-mannered-- that lady is too smart I'll tell you.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Chapter III: Deacon Scott

Every time I go to church, I'm fly. My cuff links twinkle, my shoes are dusted with diamonds, my tie: crisp and tied. Felecia is always a step below my swag. Its like she wants to make me look bad. I have a reputation I have to keep up. When I'm at church, I make sure I see in the front of the deacon section. I have to be sure that Paster Dan see's how fresh I am. Even though he acts like he doesn't notice, I know he does. I wouldn't be surprised if he was ignoring my swag, because he's a hater. That entire church hates on me because I look good. I stand there, smack in the middle while Paster Dan preaches and I shout. They all can't help but notice me.

After church all the holy hoes greet the family. They pat my back and get all touchy feely. I know they want me. Felecia just doesn't realize what a gorgeous man she has. I'm taking one of the mothers to the carnival today, after I count the tithes and offering. For a seventy-eight year old, she's pretty fine. I got the hint that she wanted me from how she invited me and my family to sunday dinner at her house. I knew she only wanted me over, so I arrived and she fixed my plate. The way she fixed my plate and made me feel at home made me sure that she was trying to come on to me. I invited her to the carnival only because that is the last place Felecia would expect me. After I count this money I'm going to to pick her fine ass up. I have to make sure I slip some twenties out of the collection plate before counting the churches money. That way I'll have money to spend at the carnival in case my sugar "mother" ain't acting right. If I don't use the money on Mother Shirley, I'm definitely going to buy a new pair of ray-ban. Rozalyn borrowed her friends one day and told me she wanted a pair for herself. I tried those suckers on, and man oh man did I look good, better than she would ever look in them

Friday, March 18, 2011

Chapter II cont.

All these Watershed Height hoes are knocking on my door about the got damn snow. I can't get a minute of sleep. Faking vertigo to get Rozlyn to fix the fire extinguisher got me about three hours of sleep, until she woke me up telling me she couldn't fix the shit. Who the hell can't fix a extinguisher. I gave her everything she needed, WD-40, a screw driver, and a towel. I swear she lacks common sense. She can't be as great as me if she lacks common sense. Bottom line, if you want shit done right, you'll have to do it your god damn self.

Rozlyn is special, everything a man can ask for in a daughter. I wouldn't say she is as hip as her old man. Personally, I'm sure that she's lame.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Chapter II - D King

Every man has a weakness, women. When I married Felecia, she wasn't my weakness, we just got married because she got pregnant. Since we've been married for so long she's became the love of my life, but from the start...NO; I did not love her. I love women. Can I be blamed being a normal man.

Tasha from down stairs came knocking on my door for advice. I had advice to give because I'm Andre hence my brilliance, but besides advice, I wanted to give her something else, if you know what I mean. When she told me about she weird black outs, I realized lord knows what she could be doing, (I didn't want to get myself into some unnecessary trouble) so I bluntly sent her away, Lisa would have be home in a second too.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Pristine Offspring

To bare the greatness of such a magnificent individual, a wonderful man, a brilliant scholar, a man of strength might be too much to fathom. I was able to pass my legacy, the legacy my sloppy drunk father passed on to me, (a wonderful man I might add, who owned a cleaners and could iron the shit out of dress shirts and starch a man's jeans crisp, also a dog grommer, a man of many trades --a hustle).

She was a mistake, the twins were 11 and Lisa fucked up and got pregnant. Of course its not a mistake anymore because see, I fixed it. I gave her my name, my legacy. Her full name Rozlyn LeAndre Scott. Ah, LeAndre, the privilege of having such a name. I wanted her to be a boy. That way, for sure she'd be amazing, brilliant, wonderful, just like her father. But she was not, her middle name was all I could offer, as well as my ken wisdom. Forever will she bare my greatness within and forever will I be her great, legendary father with my honorable name.
Despite the 11 year difference, she was brighter than her sisters and she still is. Sometimes she does stupid shit, but that my girl, just like her old man. We are pretty handy around watershed. Roz and I like to fix things around the apartments, for a little piece of change. The people around watershed assume she's too smart for me to handle. They swear she will eventually be the one to truly break my heart. I'll break her ass before she break my heart, psssh not my girl. She's too much like her father. We don't break blood. My girl, the only 12 year old who knows how to fix a roof, replace a floor, dry wall your apartment, fix a leak, change a tire, oil, motor, my girl. Just like her old man

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chapter 1 - The Connection-

Me and god have this connection. A powerful connection at that. Its like, when I proclaim the happening of a person whose done wrong to me, god interjects and makes it happen. I'll say "Something extremely bad's going to happen to you" and within weeks the proclaimed becomes reality almost like a granted wish. Oh god, you shouldn't have. I'm flattered. I don't go to church much, I believe I'm just the chosen one of which god gave this powerful connection.
When Lisa got pregnant, I married her, like a real man should. She was 18 and gave birth to premature little putrid twins. When they were little, they were remedial, blue and sick babies. I still think they aren't the sharpest tools in the shed. So when they advanced to the 2nd grade, I had Lisa tell the school how sick they were, and made them hold the twins back. When the twins were little they'd steal when Lisa and I weren't home. I just can't imagine why they couldn't just ask for a piece of bread when we get home? Ok, granted they were home for a while (3:30- 10:00) but that doesn't give you a reason to steal! Thieves I'd call them so I'd beat the thievery out of them. One thing I hate is a liar, and a theft. I didn't want them to grow up robbing banks. I swear they hold the discipline against me now that they are all grown up. I was trying to save them. But I'm their Daddy so at the end of the day they answer to me and I don't owe them shit. If anything, they should owe me for taking care of their retarded asses. Having all the neighbors of Watershed gossip when they were taken by the Department of Family and Child Services.
Now that they are older, I try to have little to do with them. The youngest of the twins called me a month ago about her car that I parked in the vacant lot by the animal shelter. She knew she was dead ass wrong for questioning her father about some money. I don't give a fuck who harasses her about the parked car. I told her to tell them her dad is in the process of fixing it. If she would have did like I said and mentioned my name the the security or cop would have been fine. This entire city knows me, I have rank. I didn't appreciate her rebuttal though. Especially when she began questioning me about her expenses. If it were up to me, she could have kept that dry ass 200 dollars she gave me for the transmission. But since I'm such a good father that happens to be a mechanic, I thought I'd do her a favor and fix her car. Ultimately she got out of hand when I told her needed more money.
A perfect example of my connection with god. Right after I told her to mind her damn business about how much a transmission cost, she called me a dead beat dad that takes money and uses his own children. I cursed her ass out! [of course] then told her this exactly, "something bad is going to happen to you". After christmas, when I was going though Lisa's phone, I saw a text message from her. The doctors diagnosed her with MS. I don't know what the hell that is, but it has to be pertaining to me and god's connection. I surely did say something would happen to that bitch. I never really liked those twins anyway. The child that's named after me, now she's the one.